Yesterday was a long dog day.
First off, in the morning, we were walking Cutter and Tug on the beach, letting them run, when this touron woman had a problem with our dogs running free on the same beach as her lovely little chillun’ and grandchillun’. She was screeching and shooing and scurrying and waving her arms about like they were rabid and plague ridden instead of just wet and sandy.
Seems her tiny adorables shouldn’t have to share the beach with dogs. Who knew?
I almost always instantly feel bad about tourons and their inherent goofiness, but when I checked my watch and saw it’s September- it was like, umm, isn’t it time for ya’ll to go the fuck home?
But anyway, in the afternoon, not wanting to endure anymore touron crap, I walked the boys on the street, on their leashes, obeying all the rules and all the other shit the tourons force on us during the season (which, by the way- isn’t it September?), when this OTHER touron woman cruises by in complete Pittsburgh Steeler regalia like she can’t wait to play in the game, shortening up her stupid dog’s leash to keep her/him/it right next to her and murmuring something like “heel” to the poor dog and kneeing it in the head as it tried to meet Cutter and Tug, who’re flailing about like retards, straining like fish caught, at the ends of their leashes, eagerly lurching to meet their newest, bestest friend.
And it was then- watching this prissy little touron and her prissy little dog getting kneed in the face while they walked by- while Cutter and Tug were yanking and jerking and twin tractor-pulling that I suddenly felt a surge of pride and love for Cutter and Tug.
Yeah, they’re a handful and yeah, they can be a pain in the ass, and yeah they are retarded beyond belief, but ya know what?
Yep…the clock struck September, season over…tourons be gone! Time to let the dogs run free. Personally, I would rather have your keepers than a prissy show dog any day.
I was talking to another local yesterday and I mentioned that most the tourons are finally gone and he said-
Yeah- I think we can take the rest out with sniper fire.
Being a redneck is fun.
That poor dog doesn’t stand a chance of being normal – not if its owner is a Steelers fan. Poor thing.
BTW – my hounds are pains in my ass at times and also retarded, but definitely keepers!
Nope, it definitely wasn’t normal. Kinda looked like a glossy street sweeper.
But I’m sure he or she’s a great dog for them.
I love that none of the fellow locals in my town care that we all blatantly disregard all leash laws.
You’re in a good place. Stay away from tourons.