Huevos Roryos.

07_21_09-18

Time, yet again, for another photographically challenged doggy treat. Huevos Roryos. I love Huevos Rancheros, but unless you live in Mexico or California you can’t find really good refried beans. Or salsa. On the East Coast both are pretty pathetic so I started making mine with pinto beans and sausages instead.

Keep in mind that I only cook when Miss Carol doesn’t so my doggy treats are really simple recipes aimed at guys trying to stave off hunger. And I drink while I’m cooking so keep that in mind too.

Anyway, lets begin.

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All the ingredients necessary for home alone fun. Hot sauce, eggs, beans, and beer. Woohoo. And lest I forget.

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‘Cause pork makes EVERYTHING better. I’m starting to like the dreamy quality of my poor photography. Anyway, take a big dollop of pork and put it in a pan.

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Appetizing, yes? Turn the heat up and cook the crap out of it. Really. Cook it like you forgot it. Cook it black. You want the texture, and believe you me it will keep it’s taste. Really. Go drink a beer, listen to some tunes and let it cook.

But don’t forget to start the beans. I like to pour the beans in a pan, turn ’em on high, and boil ’em for a little bit. Then turn it to low and add spices, ’cause there ain’t no calories in spices.

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This stuff’s the best. It’s beautiful on everything. I’d use it on my toothpaste in the morning but I’m too damn lazy to walk downstairs and get it. Add lots to the beans. And maybe some to the sausages. And maybe sprinkle some on the kitchen counter and lick it off. Whatever.

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And of course Old Bay. No meal would be complete without it. This is an East Coast staple. If you live somewhere they don’t sell it, move.

After about a beer, maybe two, the beans should be softened ’cause you’ve been periodically stirring them and mashing some of them along the sides of the pan during commercials or breaks between tunes.

And the sausage should be fairly burnt looking so crack three eggs over ’em and season with the Old Bay. Don’t be shy. Old Bay and eggs were meant to be together.

You can either cook the eggs sunny side up or flip ’em, but once they’re done ladle a bunch of the beans onto a plate and top them with the sausage encrusted eggs and grab a beer and a fork and push the dogs away and chow down baby.

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I know it looks like blackened cancer swimming in a heart attack but it’s one of those strange mish mashes of taste and texture that really are just amazingly good. Like chocolate and peanut butter.

If you want to impress guests you can fry the eggs separately and either layer the thing or maybe have the eggs dancing around the sausages or serve it in a bowl and garnish it with something cute.

Just try it.

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