Foot farts.


I loves me some flip flops.

I wear them all the time, every day, all day, until it’s winter and too cold outside and my toes turn blue.

Then I wear boots, but thats a whole nother story (as if my footwear is a story, for gods sake).

The only problem with flip flops, besides the beating my toes take working in them, is the foot fart.

No lie. Just recently I was talking to a touron at the market one morning while I was getting my coffee. It was the normal, passing the day kinda conversation that goes on all season. Feigning interest I asked where she was from, and while she paused, probably wondering if I was trying to pick her up and ax murder her, I reached for the cream and,


My flip flop gave me a foot fart. I don’t know if it’s how worn out your flip flops are, or what they’re made of, or foot sweat or what, but it happens. Really.

She stared at me and I said oops foot fart. I don’t think she believed me but, anyways, we continued with the business of making our coffees and stupid conversation. I shifted to pour decaf into my cup and,


She stopped mid-sentence, telling me about her home in Ohio, and how she loved the beach, and missed her cat, and blah, blah, blahdy blah, and glared at me. Oops, foot fart, I said.

She grabbed her coffee and bolted. I said have a nice day but she didn’t look back.

Is it just me? or does this happen to other people?

2 responses to “Foot farts.

  1. HA I foot fart all the time. I think it’s because I’m a foot sweater. I also tend to chair fart during really important business meetings.

  2. That is reason #864 why I won’t wear flip-flops. Foot farts, indeed.


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