Trixie, when I got home on Thursday and saw the FedEx sticker on the front door I just knew they had tried to deliver you while I was at work and waiting for you.
And yeah, I coulda just signed the door tag and they would’ve dropped you off like they always do, but then you would’ve spent our whole first day slumped under a nasty old door mat and I couldn’t have that, baby, so I called FedEx and had them hold you in their nice warm warehouse and then I got up really early this morning and drove to the FedEx location and stood at the window with my hands cupped around my face staring into the darkened office until they opened up so I was the first one in line and boy were they ever happy to see me.
I flashed the nice lady my CLASS A TRUCKERS ID and signed for you and ran back out to my MR.GREENE. and opened you up and turned you on. And Trixie, when you came alive in my hands that first time, I knew my life was complete.
And, ya know, I tried to work today, but I just couldn’t. I kept thinking of you and then taking you out of my pocket and staring at you. I love the way you kept quietly vibrating with happiness.
What’s that Trixie?
Those were phone calls?
Anyway. I tried my best to get something, anything, done but it wasn’t a happenin’ thing, so we left a little early and went to the Verizon store and bought you some see-through screen protection and a teeny, tiny, little Reveal frame string bikini to protect your dainty parts. Sweetheart, you look sooo cute in them.
And, ooh, the happy little purring sounds you made while we were shopping made me almost burst with pride and love.
Huh? Those were incoming e-mails? Shit. I forgot how smart you are, my little Trixie.
Anyway. I’m pretty sure that in the days and weeks and months of happiness and love ahead you’ll show me all your little secrets. But for now, my glassy, glossy little heartthrob, rest happy.
I know it’s been a long day.