Daily Archives: April 18, 2010

Lessons.

A coupla things happened just recently (well, the ONE thing happened recently, the other I just recently REMEMBERED) that really made me think.

Just last week while I was being dragged by a winter rental she was in her driveway unloading her car and Tug naturally stopped to take a dump on her yard.

He likes an audience.

While I was waiting for him to finish so’s I could pick up his poop, the winter rental woman calls out to me, telling me how much she likes watching me being dragged by, walk my dogs each day. She goes on (because Tug is still going) to tell me how much he reminds her of her Lab that she just recently lost to cancer.

He was three.

When I tried to sympathize, to tell her how sorry I was, she just kinda shrugged it off like it was no big deal. But I could tell by the way she looked, the way she paused and watched as I was jerked walked away that she sorely missed her dog.

And then, as I trudged on cursing and yelling at Cutter and Tug, I remembered one evening last summer when I was once again being dragged by walking the boys and a car that was going by suddenly stopped and the driver jumped out asking if he could just pet my dogs. He gets down on his knees right there in the  middle of the road and wraps his arms around both dogs as Cutter licked his face and Tug pawed at his shoulder.

Did I mention he’s bawling?

He’s a touron and I’m thinkin’ he’s probably drunk or somethin’ but it turns out Cutter looks just like the dog he’d had until the week before when his soon-to-be-ex-wife left (put?) his dog in their garage with her car running. He tells me all this while he’s wiping his tears on his shirtsleeve and backing back to his car. He gets in, thanks me, still bawling, and drives away and I never see him again.

And the point?

I think the point is that I’m once again learning a lesson I shouldn’t need to keep re-learning.

Sure, there are times when Cutter is barking his annoying three-part bark because he wants the apple I’m eating or when Tug sits staring at me at five o’clock in the morning, huffing hot dog breath in my face, ’cause he wants to go out that makes me wonder-

Why?

But then there are the other times, times like when Cutter will come into the Me Only Room and lay down on my feet while I work or like when Tug will jump up next to me on the couch leaning against me, sighing, while I read or watch TV that I know-

Why.

And then to hear those stories I just wonder Why I EVER wonder Why?

Hard.

Ya know.

We all work hard.

We all work late.

We fuckin’ bust our asses.

But there’s times when it becomes maybe too hard, maybe too much.

Miss Carol had another cutover at the hospital this weekend and I was gonna make dinner tonight and tomorrow night so’s all she’s just gotta do is come home, have a cocktail, and eat, and sleep.

After doin’ what I had to do today I went through a couple a cookbooks, decided on some cool stuff to make for dinner, and shopped and was all, like, locked and loaded and ready.

And then Miss Carol calls at 8:30 tonight and tells me it’s gonna be a while longer and maybe we just try the dinner thingy tomorrow and do I mind?

*big pause, deep breath*

Whatever.

So I put everything away and turned down the music, and went to bed.

It’s hard.