MR.GREEN.

This is MR.GREEN., our new 2008 Ford F450 diesel duelly crew crab.

Several months ago I started thinking about replacing my current work truck, ol’ Big Black with something newer and more comfortable and while I was at it, something big enough to haul Cutter and Tug on trips longer than 15 minutes.

I think I found it.

Is it stupendously, hugely, overbig? Yup.

Is he diesel guzzle-inly obese? You betcha.

Is he aircraft carrier-like in traffic? Oh yeah, baby.

But.

There’s somethin’ really nice about the feel of a new somethin’ somethin’ wrapped around you. Especially if it’s a BIG somethin’ somethin’

And as I sit in MR.GREEN. in the driveway gazing fondly over my newly tinted landscape and opening and closing the windows and making engine noises with my mouth and wondering how I’ll ever pay for him I look over at Big Black.

Yup. I’m a turd.

After a night spent thrashing and to-ing and fro-ing I called the buyer and told him I just couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t sell my old truck.

So she sits out front. Ready.

Is that a smirk?