Salvage.

Did a weird thing the other day, a first for me. I mean, not that it was the first time I’d done something weird, just the first time I’d done this particular weird thing.

My work truck, which is old as dirt and has almost 400,000 miles on it, found a new way to annoy me. The wipers won’t turn off. They’ll turn down to the slowest delay setting but still dry scrape across the windshield every 15 seconds or so.

Very, very, annoying.

So I went to the mechanic I usually go to and asked him take a look at it. He looked at this and jiggled that and probed a whatchamacallit and decided that the Wiper Motor Delay Switch had gone bad and after a few calls found out that Wiper Motor Delay Switchs for trucks as old as dirt aren’t made anymore.

So he said- Bub, you’re gonna hafta go to the Pick and Pull and try your luck there.

So I said- The what?

So he said- The Pick and Pull- (like everyone knows what that is)(or at least all the male everyones)- the junk yard up to the boulevard.

So I said- Oh.

You have to realize, I’ve somehow made it this far down my personal road of life having never actually visited a junk yard. I mean, I’ve seen ’em from the highway as I drive past and I’ve seen ’em in movies and I know what they are, but I’ve never, you know, gone to one.

But that wasn’t the weird thing.

After a couple of more days of the damn wipers scraping raw my last nerve I decided I’d have to go to the Pick and Pull or kill something.

What a strange and surreal experience. Picture row after row of every make and model imaginable all lined up, their eviscerated remains open to the sky and leaking out of their upturned hoods into the narrow walkways separating them.

Dead things waiting to be stripped clean by the greasy customers pushing tool laden wheelbarrows looking for an undented drivers side door for a ’99 Caddy or an exhaust manifold for a ’92 Ford or taillights for a Chevy pickup.

Certainly different, but not the weird thing.

Feeling like the used part newbie I was, I joined them- walking up first one aisle and then down another looking under rusted hoods of junked trucks for my Wiper Motor Delay Switch. I found a couple with the wiper motor still intact but the delay switch gone and I’d come to the last row of trucks sitting pushed up against the barb wire fence with the high voltage lines topping it and was just about to give up, when I found it.

I found my part. Sitting right there, right where it was supposed to be, stuck to the firewall of a much more beat up and rusted out version of my own truck.

I couldn’t believe it so I stood and stared for a minute making sure before pulling out my wrench and removing it and making it mine.

And even this wasn’t the weird thing.

I hurried home and replaced my Wiper Motor Delay Switch with the one I’d salvaged and started up my truck to see if I’d fixed the problem.

And did it?

NOOOOOOOooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Of course not. And that was the weird thing I did the other day- I really thought that I could find a used part in a junkyard and that that part would ACTUALLY work.

Bbbbwwwaaaaahhahahahaha!!!!!!!

The truck repair gods are laughing at me while they pee on me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s