Fetch.

Everybody knows we are blessed with the most unretrievenous retrievers ever to grace the planet.

We’ve pretty much given up on training them to do anything other than what they want to do and we’re pretty much good with that.

Aim low and you’ll never be disappointed.

But then, the other day, when I was at Wal-Mart picking up dog biscuits I saw the Flying Squirrel in the toy section (which kinda looks like a Flying Squirrel if Flying Squirrels were neon green and had glow-in-the-dark paws) and remembered that someone had e-mailed me months ago saying that THEIR unretrieverable retriever LOVED these things, so of course I bought one.

Hope springs eternal, ya know.

I got home and pulled it out of the bag and Cutter went berserk. Tug was a little interested but Cutter was madly in want.

I took them outside and sent the Flying Squirrel sailing away. It was hilarious. Picture teenage nerds trying to play basketball, all gangly arms and legs and desire and want but no real coordination and that was Cutter running and leaping after this thing. And when he finally got it he actually brought it back. Whoa.

Tug, as usual, just watched and waited.

After the second spastic retrieve Tug attacked and the two of them rolled around wrestling as they are wont to do and then Cutter picked up the Flying Squirrel and ran it inside and chewed it up.

Took about ten minutes. Me and Tug watched.

And then Princess Cutter got up, shook out his coat, and barked for a biscuit like he’d done something good and worthwhile.