Daily Archives: June 18, 2009

Project Pitifulness.


So another several weeks have passed and we’ve fought off both Bambi and bunnies in our relentless pursuit to watch slowly dying green plants slowly die.

I think we bought bad dirt. Can you have bad DIRT?

As if our farming incompetencies weren’t slack enough, we woke one morning to find that most of our pathetic garden had been an anemic salad bar for varmints. I rushed to Home Depot for materials and put our plants into prison. I also constructed string poles for the tired little green things we’re euphemistically calling green beans.

And then we watered and watched and watered and watched. At one point during the watching I saw our little bunny friend sitting in the yard staring at her imprisoned dinner with her ears slicked back and her big, dark, puppy dog eyes brimming with desire and I almost went out and opened the gate for her. But I didn’t.¬†Instead, I kept waiting and watching while nothing really grows but nothin’s really dying either. It’s kinda like plant purgatory.

Miss Carol remains annoyingly bubbly optimistic about our future harvest but I’m not so sure tomato plants can survive the winter so I’ve decided enough’s enough and I’m gonna bring out the big guns. I’m gettin’ us some MiracleGro super duper plant food stuff and chemically jump start the garden.

We may glow in the dark after we eat it, but dammit, we’ll have us a tomato sometime this year.