Tag Archives: writing

Kansas.

Originally I was planning on staying at the Sand Hills campground in Hutchinson for an extra day. I was going to take a day off of traveling and go to the store and make myself a Sunday brunch with a Bloody Mary and a newspaper and relax.

But I didn’t.

When I woke up it was cloudy and windy and the forecast was stormy with lots of wind (in fact, coming out of the bath house the night before a guy stopped to talk to me and see my little camper (I get a LOT of that) and he told me that he had heard a forecast of 75 mph winds and golf ball size hail and how he only lived nine minutes away so he was going home) so I packed up and moved on.

And none of that happened.

Instead, as I drove, the sunlit morning became beautiful with a brilliant blue sky to contrast with the stark white windmills of Kansas. Miss Carol had told me to expect a lot of windmills in Kansas, and boy howdy are there. I guess maybe Kansan farmers have given up on growing wheat and are growing windmills instead?

Makes sense to me.

Anyway, as I cruised along the fields of windmills I had a lot of time to think-

LIKE- how did we become so reliant on the internet? It’s hard to imagine making this trip without it.

LIKE- Generational differences. Our kids and grandkids will never know a simpler, less connected world.

LIKE- If I could have a conversation with my 18 year old self, what I say?

LIKE- Why weren’t kids fat back in the 70’s?

And don’t expect any answers from me. I don’t have any. But it did give me something to think about while I listened to music and cruised along the wheat fields, I mean, windmill fields, of Kansas.

o-HI-o.

Who ARE these people?

Coming out of mountainous West Virginia into the rolling hills of Ohio I started feeling that something was wrong but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

So I shrugged it off and kept driving but I couldn’t get rid of the feeling I was missing something. When I got to Paint Creek State Park where I was planning to camp for the night, I was talking to the woman in the camp store about the weather and she told me a cold front was coming through and that night’s temperature was forecast to be about 40 degrees which is waaaaay too cold for me, so she gave me some possible motel locations to try instead.

Which is a shame because I really wanted to camp and Paint Creek is a beautiful campground. I mean, absolutely pristine looking. And as I drove away that nagging feeling that had been tugging at me came back stronger than ever.

Anyway.

I ended up at the Bluebird Inn which was a very adequate motel room for the night. Everything was clean, everything smelled good, and everything worked. Yeah, it was a little dated, and yeah some of the furniture was a little scarred, but it had everything I needed, leaving nothing I wanted.

The next morning I stopped for gas and coffee in Hillsboro, which is one of those old little towns that have held onto their charm. It was while I was watching our life savings being poured into my tank that I realized what that nagging little something was.

There was no trash anywhere in sight. Nada. Zip. Zero. Point. Zero. I looked around me. Nothing. You could probably eat lunch on the ground of the gas station. And so, after that I became a man obsessed. As I drove, I looked for trash along the side of the road, certain I would find some.

And it was then that I realized the other part of my nagging something. All of the lawns, all of the grass, everything single little bit of it is perfectly mowed. I mean golf course perfect. All of it. Everywhere I looked.

It was a little unervering.

As I came into Cincinnati, because it’s a city, I was sure I’d find roadside trash and uncut something or other and I think I might have. About two miles out, up on an embankment, I think I saw something small and white.

But that was it. I drove through Cincinnati, which by the way, I think gets a bad rap. I liked the look, the feel, of Cincinnati. I only wish I’d been driving through late enough in the day to get some Skyline Chili.

West of the city I continued by vigil and continued to come up empty and as I crossed over into Indiana I thought-

Who ARE these people?

Verticality.

Next up was Wild and Wonderful West Virginia.

Where homes cling to the mountainside with driveways that fall away or climb from the road like amusement park rides and Route 50 (or maybe ALL roads in West Virginia) have more curves than a 36DD stripper.

Driving in West Virginia is spectacular and spectacularly exciting and exhausting. The views are magnificent but the roads are relentlessly curving left and right as they corkscrew up and down the seemingly endless West Virginia mountains. As soon as you get to the bottom (or top) of one elevation and catch your breath for the maybe short half mile stretch of straight road (West Virginia DOT hates straight- I’m convinced of this) you start up or down ANOTHER 9% grade.

But the views. Simply amazing.

So as I wrestled Turtle (I think I’ve decided to call my truck/camper Turtle)(because that’s what it looks like) up and down and back and forth, braking hard and accelerating harder, I marveled at the scenery.

I’m a flatlander. We don’t even have any little bitty hills in Virginia Beach or Knott’s Island, so to be winding up (or down) a mountain road with a cliff high above on one side and a cliff plunging away on the other was like driving in a 4th dimension.

Anyway.

I got to Davis and my brother-in-law showed me around and we spent some time together before he had to leave and then I had too much to drink while watching the very worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. (Anybody But Him)

The next morning when I was brushing my teeth, I realized that my Gezellig, my cozy comfort level was gone, the places I knew and were familiar with were behind me now and that I had asked for this and I’d got it.

And I wavered.

But then, as I stared at my hungover self in the mirror, with toothpaste smeared in my beard and mustache, I said to myself- stop being such a pussy.

And got dressed and loaded up and went out to wrestle the mountains roads some more.

A change in the plan. Already.

So this is what happened.

As I mentioned in my previous post the plan was to build a little camper on the bed of my 1989 F350 for my cross country trip.

Well, that’s changed.

On Tuesday morning I was at Pungo 4X4. I needed three new tires, two of which were the steers. Everything went well and I was able to make an appointment for Wednesday at Bert’s Alignment to get my new steers aligned so that they wouldn’t wear all cock-eyed the way the old ones had.

On Wednesday morning I get to Bert’s and as I was getting out of my truck I smell gas. I look back to where the gas tank filler necks are and sure enough gas is pouring out of the front tank filler. AGAIN.

This has been an ongoing problem (among others) with my truck for the last two years. Instead of one gas tank my truck has two 19 gallon tanks, a sending pump in each tank, a delivery pump somewhere or other, and a fuel switch that is supposedly, somewhat, sometimes, controlled by a switch on my dashboard that is supposed to let me decide which tank I want to use.

Any and all of these components can fail (and have) or operate erratically (and do).

I watched the fuel flowing out of my front tank down the side of my truck for a moment before switching over to the other tank and calling Miss Carol to let her know there’d be another repair bill coming up.

To say she wasn’t too happy would be like saying I don’t like beets (I hate beets) and after venting her frustration in me, my truck, our marriage, and her life for having married someone like me with a truck like mine, she asked me if I had any idea how much we’d spent in repairs in 2025.

And, of course, I didn’t.

But over the course of the next two days I found out and added it all up. Then I got on the Ford website and “built” a replacement F350 to get some idea of what the truck payments would be. And you know what? The annual truck payments for a 2026 were not terribly different from the repair bills on my 1989.

So I’m still doing my cross country trip, and I’m still gonna build a little camper on the back but, instead of on an 1989 F350, it’s gonna be on a 2026 F350.