On Sunday I called the boys into the Me Only Room.
Guys, I said. We need to talk.
They sat, looking at me a little suspiciously, and Cutter said, what about?
Guys, I said, you know my brother and his little cupcake are moving in with us, right?
Cutter and Tug shrugged, if, you know, dogs could shrug, and Cutter said, so?
What you don’t know, I said, is that my brother’s little cupcake is bringing her cat with her and she’s really worried about how you guys are going to get along with Sebastian.
Cutter and Tug looked at one another, ears cocked and eyes glistening, and then they both turned to me and Tug said, we’ll get along GREAT! We LOVE cats!
YEAH, Cutter said enthusiastically, they taste just like chicken!
Guys, I said, rubbing my forehead. I should have known.
Tug turned back to Cutter and said, whaddya call a hundred dead cats on the bottom the pool?
SOUP!!, Cutter yelped, and they both broke up laughing bwwaaaahahahahahahaha!!
Guys, I said through gritted teeth, trying to be patient.
Cutter wiped his eyes and looked at Tug. Check it bro, he said. What goes meow, bumpthumpitybump, meow, bumpthumpitybump? he asked his littermate.
Tug barely squeezed out, a cat bouncing down the stairs!, before they both collapsed into another fit of laughter.
C’mon guys, I said. This is serious.
Wait, wait, Tug said, sitting up and pawing Cutter’s shoulder with his paw. How ’bout this one? What should every kitten be wearing?, he said.
A sandwich roll!!! Cutter said, and they both dissolved into another paroxysm of hilarity.
I hate you guys, I said resignedly.
They were rolling around on the floor of the Me Only Room laughing when Miss Carol walked in. What’s so funny? she asked.
You don’t wanna know, I said, watching Cutter and Tug high-five one another. But I’m guessin’ they’re gonna like Sebastian just fine, I said.
Miss Carol smiled at me and said, oh, good.