Look Ma.

The Little House of Horrors has walls. And ceilings.

I had originally wanted to plaster the walls and ceilings and leave them the hard plaster white and let the paintings, southern yellow pine trim, tile, and hardwood floors provide the color.

Miss Carol had other ideas. She not only wanted to paint the walls and ceiling, but paint them different colors and add a strongly contrasting wall in the bedrooms.

So.

After spending the last coupla weekends painting I’ve discovered some fundamental DO’s and DON’T’s to follow when forced to paint an entire house by yourself and against your will.

DO’s

• Spend the extra money and buy quality brushes and rollers. A craftsman is only as good as his tools, right?
• Wear clothes you won’t mind throwing away once the painting nightmare is over. Trust me- you won’t want them or their memories.
• Listen to the pretty music. Plug in your earbuds and rock out. Painting drywall is mindlessly repetitive boredom that drains the soul and atrophies the mind. A shuffling playlist blaring into your head helps numb the pain and makes you feel like a rock and roll hero.
• Dwell on how much of your life is speeding by while you needlessly paint walls- the annoyance’ll make you work that much harder.

DON’T’s

• Don’t think.
• Or if you do- don’t estimate how many square feet your roller will cover before you need to load it up again.
• Or if you do that- don’t go down to your truck and get your tape measure and check your square footage estimate.
• Or if you do that– don’t estimate how many times you’re gonna have to load up your roller before you finish rolling out the first of two unnecessary coats of paint on the ceiling. (why oh why can’t white paint cover white drywall in one coat??)
• Or if you do THAT– don’t start counting.
• And definitely DO NOT think about having to do this all over AGAIN next weakend.

Just listen to the pretty music.