Around about Thanksgiving I read that a bunch of celebrities like Ryan Seacrest and Alicia Keys and Lady Gaga and a couple of Kardashians and others had decided to stop tweeting until their fans coughed up a million bucks for some goofy charity.
My first thought was- when did celebrities start guilting their fans into paying for their personal charities? (Oh wait. American Idol gives back.)
My second thought was- if it’s so fucking important to Ryan Seacrest and Alicia Keys and Lady Gaga and a couple of Kardashians and others- why don’t THEY stroke a check? Collectively they’re worth billions, and singly they’re worth millions, so why are they trying to strong arm their goofy fans by withholding their blessed tweets?
My third thought was- deeper, but only slightly. Why do we place celebrities up on some kinda gilded pedestal? Like they’re better than the rest of us. Like we need to shine on to them. Like, gosh golly, we can’t possibly live without reading their inane tweets or without watching them accept another nepotistic award or without gazing fondly on their inability to live like the rest of us?
I don’t know much, but I know I’m over that shit.
Then, yesterday, I heard on Howard Stern that Ryan Seacrest and Alicia Keys and Lady Gaga and a couple of Kardashians and the others who’ve tried to force their “fans” to support and pay for their pet charity have raised almost 200K since Thanksgiving.
Made me wonder if they’re still not tweeting.
Made me wonder if it’s a reflection on our economy or a blowback on celebrity dickweeds.
Made me wonder if there’s a God, and how hard she’s laughing.
Made me happy.