Miss Carol and me attended our first ever Mormon wedding this weekend and no, that photo is in no way indicative of Mormons or Mormon weddings. It just  makes me laugh. I mean. Really.

So I’m thinkin’, what the hell, right?- just another wedding, another reception, more cake eating and garter throwing. But then I learned that Mormons don’t drink and since celebrating diversity is pretty much a one-way street, there wouldn’t be any alcohol at the reception ’cause Mormons don’t seem to want to celebrate MY diversity.


Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I have to have alcohol at every social event but it sure does help my enjoyment of the event and let’s face it, it is a social lubricant, greasing up the gears of conversation.

So we were wonderin’ what we were gonna do when Miss Carol came up with a brilliant plan. She mixed up a batch of vodka tonics and poured them into empty Dasani water bottles and put ’em in the freezer to chill.

Then us and our normal, non-Mormon friends, all stood around at the reception sipping chilled, crystal clear vodka laughing and having a good ole time while our dour, super-straitlaced, Mormon hosts pondered fun.

It was like being in high school again and having to sneak around. And ya know what? Drinking surreptitiously we probably drank more and probably got a little drunker than we ever would have just drinking openly.

Weird how that works.

9 responses to “Weddin’.

  1. –>Love it! I must say we would never attend a dry wedding/reception. We don’t know anyone who fits that category. Cheers!

  2. I’m still laughing over the photo…I mean, what the hell kind of wedding was that??? I bet they had cocktails! 🙂

  3. I swear I’m not as white trash as this might make me seem, but we do this A LOT. Well, never to a wedding before, but the fair, for example, where a beer costs upwards of $10? Oh yeah, I’m sportin’ the “water” bottle. Vitamin water works great, too. Just pour some out and replace with vodka. Awesome.

  4. You have done it once again. Amazing post.

  5. Hah I’m literally the only comment to your awesome writing?

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