Daily Archives: March 28, 2009

Danger Will Robinson.


Earlier this week, bored beyond tears, I happened upon a Travel Channel special called When Beaches Attack. 

And boy howdy am I glad I did. I had no idea that going to the beach ranks right up there with riding shotgun on a Humvee in a firefight in Iraq.

Who knew?

Come to find out, we’ve got stingrays and sharks and killer waves and jellyfish and hurricanes and tsunamis. And let’s don’t forget sunburn. Apparently, the beach is no place for the faint hearted and danger lurks everywhere on the periphery of  our sun drenched paradise, baring it’s teeth and biding it’s time.

Horrors heaped on horrors.

At first I laughed. Then I smirked. But when I realized the Travel Channel was serious I sprang to action, knowing I had to do my part to make people aware and help save lives. Call me Mommy Oceandoggy.

DON’T come to the beach this summer. Just stay away. It’s really not worth it. Consider your life and that of your loved ones- would you rather spend your vacation in a hot tub sipping cocktails watching a mountain sunset or in the death throes of a shark attack? Dinner in cozy, quaint, country restaurant or writhing in agony from a Man-O-War sting? Swimming lazily in the pool or being sucked out to sea in a rip?

Think hard and spend your vacation dollars wisely and please, stay far, far, away.

Don’t thank me, I’m just glad I could help.