Windows.

I’m a Mac in a Windows world. I realize my minority-ness. And for the most part, I’m good with it. I love and hug my little Mac and mostly don’t care about the whole big bad Windows world.

But every now and then, Bill Gates pokes his nose into my rosy little Mac-dom.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Every year, every Christmas, I temporarily stuff my Grinchy von Grinchness into somewhere and I write a seasonal letter for family and friends. In years past I’ve written on a company computer (Windows) and e-mailed it to Miss Carol so she could print it on whatever gay holiday paper she’s managed to find.

Then the last coupla years I’ve printed it at home in the Me Only Room ’cause I had an awesome printer. But the printer died wheezing and gasping last year and I didn’t replace it with awesomeness. Truth be told, I don’t print anything anymore. Who needs paper?

So this year I wrote the seasonal letter on my trusty Mac not realizing I had no way of disseminating it.

Oh shit.

After trying ways to make the Mac work with the Windows I gave up and decided the fastest, easiest was would be to just re-type the stupid seasonal letter on Miss Carol’s Window-based HP laptop.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I did it, finally. I somehow managed to type a 400 word document into that stupid piece of shit.

But I won’t never ever do it again. I’d rather cut my fingers off with pliers.

Windows is the most aggressively anti-intuitive garbage I’ve ever had to deal with. I’d rather Mister Wiggly was attacked by wild dogs.

The cursor kept floating around adding letters to previously typed sentences. It kept trying to help me spell. It kept changing to italic. It was annoying beyond words.

I told Miss Carol if the laptop wasn’t hospital property and if it weren’t Christmassssss I’d a thrown the thing through the window and run out and stomped on it and started up MR.GREENE and driven over it and then stomped on it some more.

Fuckin’ Windows.

Thanks Bill. Merry Christmas.

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2 responses to “Windows.

  1. I laughed out loud at “gay holiday paper.” I don’t do that often while reading. I might do one of those quiet snorty things through my nose… or give a half-assed kind of “ha.” But never a full on laugh.

    Anyway, I want a Mac. Badly. But until my computer takes a crap, I’m trying my very best (which, sadly, isn’t very good) to keep unnecessary spending to a minimum.

  2. Don’t ask how much I spent on furniture for my mansion. That was all totally necessary.

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