Daily Archives: May 11, 2011

Doomsday. Again.

Haven’t we been here before?

According to some religious zealots- Christian, this time- the endtimes are nigh, and by nigh, I mean, like, this MONTH. Oh, wait, I’m sorry, let me check my watch; I mean, like this WEEK.

Oops. I mean, holy crap dude, like, tomorrow?

Shit. er, umm, I mean, shoot. I’m not ready for this- I mean, do you dress up for rapture? What’re you supposed to do? How’re you supposed to act?

If you, like me, think that all religion is silly nonsense, what’re your chances?

Do you just hold on tight? Are we totally fucked?

I certainly have no idea but, the upbeat is that, if you google The End of the World you’ll find that the rapturous Christians are either so extremely excited about their upcoming rapture that they’re messy with the date or possibly just dyslexic, ’cause it seems they can’t decide if the rapture is gonna happen tomorrow or maybe on the 21st.

12 or 21. 21 or 12. Silly digits.

So given its last minute direness, what’ya do? Do you hunker down for the end-of-it, whatever that is, or do you just keep stroking along? Or, caught by the surprise of Armageddon, do you rush out to WalMart and buy a bunch of shit and build up a mountain of canned food and sacks of dog food to await the apocalyptic lurch?

I honestly don’t think anything’s gonna happen, but to be on the safe side I figured I needed to flip ahead on my Playboy calendar and check out all the future months I might end up missing.

You know, just in case.

*brief pause *

Wow. OK. It’s a toss up between Miss August and Miss December but I think I’m going with the cuteness that is Miss August.