Monthly Archives: November 2008

Backstory. Part 1

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I don’t know why but this has been rambling around in my head all day. I write like everyone knows us, but I’m thinkin’ there’s at least a few who are probably scratching their heads saying Cutter who?, Tug what? Carol WTF?

And maybe, just maybe they would like some backstory. If not, tough. It’s comin’ atcha.

This is Cutter.

Four years ago we buried our last old dog. It was heartwrenching for me, holding another beloved dog as she was put down. I was done with dogs. They don’t live long enough. They chew a place in your heart, camp out, and then die. Damn them.

But then, four months later Miss Carol decided it was time, and while we were eating brunch on a Sunday went through the paper and found a breeder in North Carolina with a litter of Labs ready for adoption.

We drove down and checked out the puppies which kinda all looked alike except for the runt and a big bully that was sitting by himself in the corner of the pen. Rolling around in the general population was one that I picked up for whatever reason. He immediately fell asleep in the crook of my arm and I was smitten. Sonsabitches.

We chose him, named him Cutter, and wanted to take him home immediately, but had to wait for a couple of weeks until he was weaned.

On the ride home Miss Carol hesitated and then blurted out that she wanted the runt as well, if she was still available when we went back. I stared at her agape, my sphincter tightening.

Huh?? Two puppies, in our little house?? At the same time????? TWO AS IN 2 PUPPIES AT THE SAME TIME????. IN OUR HOUSE?????!!!!!

We stopped at a 7-11 for refreshment.

Next- Tug.

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Thwarted.

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I watched this pelican for awhile this morning thinking that he was analogous of my weekend. He spent himself over and over trying to beat into the waves and get out to sea and I had beat myself against a wall trying to make things happen the way I wanted them to happen. 

I mentioned the connection to my bride tonight and she was characteristically sympathetic with my pussiness. Carol’s optimism is rash-like. (Her feelings on things are included in parenthesis)

It all started on Saturday morning. We were finishing the process of morphing our sailboat into a new(er) car for Carol and I honestly thought we could go to CARMAX and come home with her car. Wrongo. There was a glitch in the title stuff and we had to wait until Monday to pick it up. (Waaah, Oceandoggy has to wait for his new car.)

So I came home thinking I would go up to the beach with a book and a cold six-pack. No way Jose’. We had  a party to go to. (Waaah, Oceandoggy has to go to a party. And have fun. And drink beer.)

Sunday dawned and I wanted to take Carol and the dogs out on the boat. We got everything loaded and were all ready to go when the recurring water pump problem re-surfaced. I sat, staring at the outboard motor that hates me, grinding my teeth. (Waaah, Oceandoggy can’t go for a boat ride.)

So we went home and I thought I would go fishing on the beach. It had been warm and beautiful all morning. I packed up bait and lures and poles and beer and walked up to the beach. Thirty minutes later the wind had shifted and gotten cold and an annoying woman had stopped to talk to me about her life. (Waaah, Oceandoggy can’t fish)

I went back home thinking I’d watch the Redskins. HAHAHAHAHA homeboy, they’re playing on Monday Night Football. (Waaah, no football)

In despair, I figured I would go up on the deck, drink a beer and read a book. No such luck. Clouds had moved in and the wind was howling. (Waaah)

Finally, I just drank myself silly, feeling sorry for opportunities lost.

Then I watched that sad pelican, forlornly fighting for his life this morning and realized how little my little shit matters in the big scheme of things. 

I’m a lucky guy.

Happy Halloween.

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Once again this year we had absolutely no trick-or-treaters. Nada. Zip. Zero.

I’m not quite sure why but I have my theories:

-maybe it was the appealing candy layout (my fault, not Carol’s-she was napping)

-maybe it was the blurry dog

-maybe it was the darkened house and closed drapes (did I mention Carol was napping?)

-maybe it was because we are surrounded by empty rental homes so it looks like no one is home in the darkened house with the closed drapes.

-maybe it was the barbed wire and concertina tape that I put up (after I was sure Carol was napping)

-maybe it was the covering fire that I laid down from the machine gun nest mounted on the deck (Carol can sleep through ANYTHING)

Maybe it was all those things and maybe more.

But whatever the reason, I win again- Butterfinger and Snicker sandwiches for me.

Sweet.